I look back at my Instagram photos and think about how I was raised to hate myself as we often are raised. To look in the mirror and not see myself as a whole, but to pick and criticize my flaws as if those should be highlighted over other features.… read more
I often wonder what it feels like to know your life, as you know it, is truly over and it’s irreversible. I have felt like that several times. Even now as I seek haven in my cluttered shed, sitting on an old bucket with a raggedy moving blanket, hunched over… read more
My birthday is in 4 days and like every year, I fucking hate it. I feel like I’m constantly disappointed and I’m not sure why I still have any hope for it. I can remember maybe a handful of years where I was actually happy in my adult life for… read more
I often wonder if I will ever burden anyone the way they’ve burdened me. I don’t think I will, but maybe it comes with age. I’m very unhappy with my current life. I often wonder if that will change, too. In the words of Linkin Park: I tried so hard… read more
I found out today (well, technically yesterday since it’s 1:30 AM) that they hired a “warehouse associate” to help pack orders. W made me feel so small and stupid when he asked, “What do we need a warehouse manager for?” Right after trying to fire me just a few months… read more
Looking at the cross necklace he bought, I always felt like a slap in the face after his passing. After I started HRT, my neck grew thicker, and I could no longer wear it. It seemed fitting, so to speak. read more
My Awkward Life 